OscarBlog 2009 – Stave 9

Best Foreign Language Film. About which I have nothing to say. This is a category that is soooo ripe for being taken off of the telecast portion of the program. But it’ll never happen. I understand that it’s impossible to take any of these categories and move them to a pre-show or an alternative Oscar event. Nobody essentially cares that Best Foreign Language Film appears in the telecast, but they care that “their part of the business” is getting lesser representation. And hissy fits ensue.

Here comes the tribute montage to dead people. I wondered why they always put it so late in the show, until I realized: they’re probably stalling as long as they can just in case Joachin Phoenix squeaks in during one of the commercial breaks.

Wow, what a horrible choice to have all of these tribute clips “floating by” on screens inside the theater. So: they take up a fraction of the overall picture. The names are small to begin with, but it’s made even harder when they’re floating by on an angle. And the docus is on the set, not on the people you’re honoring. Idiotic idea.

See? They wouldn’t dare have stuck Paul Newman on a tiny floating screen, would they?

Back from commercial. Prez of Academy is acknowledged, and he simply stands up in audience and waves. Perfect choice. He deserves a moment, sure, but not to stand on stage and burn through a three-minute speech.

Once again, an actor (Reese Witherspoon) is explaining to us that these are these people called “Directors” who apparently park the cars on the set or something. As I have been trapped underground since seconds after birth, I had no idea; bless you, Academy, for this thoughtful explanation.

Best Director goes to “Slumdog.” I’m not terribly happy with the Slumdog sweep. I’m sure it’s a great movie, but there were plenty of great movies in 2008 and I refuse to believe that it just absolutely trounced all other movies, creatively. If it was better than “Wall*E” and “Milk,” I’ll be pretty damned blown away.

Danny Boyle is collecting his Oscar wearing an Elwood Blues costume. Funny, I thought he’d want to go with a tuxedo instead of his Comic-Con togs.

Tell me: just how long are you going to allow those deadly, bloodthirsty lobsters to overrun you home and car before you finally screw your courage to the sticking place and do something about it? And this deluxe lobster snare from Green Lobster will put an end to the liturgy of fear that this flippy-tailed tyrants read to your loved ones every day and night.

Like I’ve been saying, it’d be great if you clicked the link even if you’ve been diligently knocking out the lobster nests in your attic with a tennis racket before they even gain a beachhead on your home. Anything you buy after clicking the Amazon Associates link causes Amazon to toss a few pennies into my Associates account. And really, those giant inflatable Batmobile pool toys aren’t going to pay for themselves are they?

2 thoughts on “OscarBlog 2009 – Stave 9

  1. Ryan Wallace

    Slumdog was a good film. WALL-E, however, is the best animated film ever made (in my estimation), and should have been considered for Best Picture. The Academy treats animateds like comedies – no respect.

  2. David Roche

    I liked Wall-E, but it’s probably not even in my Top 10 for the year. Slumdog Millionaire was wonderful, to be honest… certainly miles ahead of The Reader, which was rather bad, in my estimation.

    And Milk, though it had great performances, was a flawed movie, I felt… the chintzy operatic touches towards the end, for example… seemed a little too cliched for my liking. But, to each his own!

    For my money, The Visitor and Frozen River were better movies than most!

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