Finally…Exciting New Empirical Evidence Confirms the Theory

It took a good long while for the test situations to all fall together, but tonight at 6:22 PM, on a street corner in front of a Unitarian church in Walpole, Massachusetts, a common but unproven assumption was finally demonstrated under real-world conditions:

If you and your friend stand out in the freezing cold near a traffic light holding signs reading “PEACE ON EARTH” and “GOOD WILL TOWARDS MEN,” I will roll down my window, toot my horn, and flash the “thumbs up” sign at you.