My Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer at just about this same time last year. She died on Tuesday.
The nurses at her hospice did a terrific job of managing her pain and I’m confident that she passed away comfortably and with dignity. I and the rest of her New England kids were there with her all day, holding her hand and talking to her.
It was really quite beautiful. I was gone for the critical moment, I’m sorry to say. Sometime a little after five, the growling of stomachs became audible and we realized that the four of us hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch. I made a sandwich run and missed Mom’s passing by literally a minute or two. But I’m told that it was very calm and quiet. The room was a little stuffy and someone opened the big ceiling-high swinging conservatory windows in her room, and that’s when Mom went.
I’m okay.
We walked a long, long road together over this past year and I had plenty of time to accept things. I can’t speak for my sisters but personally, the day felt like dropping off your kid at college. It’s a sad event, and I’ll miss Mom terribly, but it was time for her to begin the next part of her adventure. I felt as though my final responsibility to her was to let her go.
I’ve written that paragraph many times to friends over the past week. It’s never been a cut-and-paste job, either. Each time, I think about it and try to share what the day was like. That’s always the truth.
Speaking of truth: no, I haven’t mentioned Mom (or Dad’s) illnesses anywhere publicly. Mom’s cancer was Mom’s story, not mine. Her story became part of my story, but it wasn’t my story to tell.
Also…well, my public Internet presence was like the home phone number that nobody at work knows about. When I had some time to go on Twitter or Flickr or my blog, or record podcasts with the usual crew, it was a terrific vacation from the Cancer Office.
I know that you’re all sensible people, so I needn’t explain that a blog is not a mandate to obsessively document your life, either. You’re my readers, not (thank God) fans who obsessively need to know everything there is to know about a person. If the subject is interesting, entertaining, illuminating, or informative — that is, if I think you can get something out of it in any way — then it’s a candidate for the blog. But only if it’s not something I’d prefer to keep private.
Actually, I wasn’t even sure that I’d ever want to talk about Mom’s cancer publicly. The correct answer only became clear when I realized that I couldn’t bear to either (a) never talk about my Mom again or (b) keep speaking of her in the present tense, as though all of the courage and spirit she showed in 2008 never happened.
I’ll probably be writing more about her in the future. Writing helps me to think and to understand. The events of the past twelve months have given me plenty of things to think about and process.
The funeral was held yesterday. You’ll never meet my Mom, and I’m sorry because you missed out on a real treat. But maybe you’ll get some of her perfume from the eulogy I presented at my childhood Catholic church. I’ve made a couple of minor edits for privacy.
At any family event, I’m the guy running around with the big camera. I realized a long time ago that if I was the one TAKING the family photos, then I wouldn’t have to be IN the family photos.
That’s one of what I hope are many things I got from Mom.
Mom was never comfortable having her picture taken. I was reminded of that when I got back home on the night she passed. I poured myself a glass of wine and spent a few hours going through old hard drives and CDs and DVDs, looking at ten or fifteen years’ worth of pictures of Mom. And you could almost always see that little flinch or tension in her expression.
I was searching for one shot in particular. We were on the beach at the Cape about five or ten years ago. Mom was a little sunburned and she’d left her big hat back at the cottage, and I’d lent her my favorite hat. The one I wear almost every day.
If you enjoy taking pictures, you’ll understand what was going through my mind when I saw her in my hat: I was thinking “Oh, I HAVE TO have this photo; this is the PERFECT picture; oh, I hope I hope I HOPE she lets me take her picture.”
I have relatively few photos of my Mom, because I tried to avoid making her so uncomfortable but boy, did I want that photo.
And thank heavens: she said yes.
It’s the image that always comes to mind when I think of Mom. It perfectly matches the image I carry in my mind’s eye. There was no tension, no stiffness, no unease. Just the face of a sweet woman, happy, serene, content, a source of peace and love and comfort.
At the time, I thought it was just a lucky break that the photo had came out so well and Mom looked to natural and at ease. But Tuesday night in my office, with that picture filling the huge screen of my iMac, I figured out that it was no accident.
She was my Mom. And she could instantly sense how happy she could make me by letting me take her picture there on the beach.
Mom would do or sacrifice absolutely anything for us kids or our Dad. And not out of a sense of duty or obligation, but out of love. She took joy in expressing love.
It’d be incorrect to say that there aren’t many great photos of Mom. Going through all of those pictures in my photo libraries, and all of the photos that my sisters brought for the wake, you also see that exact same ease and contentment in every photo where she’s holding or playing with one of her grandchildren.
Mom considered her grandkids to be an exceptional blessing. Nine more babies to hold, nine more kids to love.
You didn’t even have to be part of her family to qualify for that sort of treatment. If you were her friend, she loved you deeply. If you were her neighbor, she was almost as proud of your kids’ achievements as she was of her own. Even if you just saw her every now and then at work, you’d get a hug and walk away having a much better day then before you’d bumped into her.
Mom always said she was terrible at math. She was right about that. Very, very, very right.
But she knew what she did best. At the end of the service, you’re going to hear one of Mom’s favorite hymns: “Let There Be Peace On Earth, And Let It Begin With Me.” That was Mom. She understood that it’s not enough to WANT peace; you have to have the humility and generosity to always help others to find the peace and love within themselves.
I have friends who didn’t have my sort of luck as a kid. They lost their mothers before they got to know them, or just as unfortunately, they got the sort of Mom who really wasn’t very well suited to the job.
I only wish that all of them could have met my mother. To spend just a half an hour with her was to understand what true, committed, complete love is like. They would have come away knowing what they missed.
Mom fought cancer with great bravery and dignity. Even in such terribly unfair circumstances, she was the center of peace and the source of love in any room she inhabited. As she was every day of her life.
Every person she loved was another thread holding her to this earth. The only love greater, and the only thing that could have pulled her away from us, was the love of a God who wanted his daughter to finally come back home and be with Him.
Rest in peace, Mom. YASBTM.
Entries (RSS)
September 14th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Andy:
I am so sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and your family.
One of the best things that happened long after my dad died was that I eventually resumed thinking of him when he was energetic and vibrant, not while he was sick. If it is any consolation, I promise that you will eventually think of your mom that way.
Best wishes,
Clint
September 14th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Sorry for your loss.
My father passed away 6 weeks ago from cancer after being diagnosed in February.
It just seems so surreal.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
My condolences to you and your family for your loss. I am so sorry.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
What you wrote both in the eulogy and in this blog entry were beautiful. May she rest in peace.
Cheers
September 14th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
You look like her. My wife and I are praying for you and your family.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
So sorry about your loss
These things are turning points in life. Things will never be the same again, but if it helps, just remember that she’ll be thinking of you all the time, and that she would want you to carry on with life and live it to its fullest.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I am very sorry to hear that Andy. I lost a relative to lung cancer this year. I hope that you and your family are there for each other and that remembering together can ease the loss a little.
The words you found to describe her are beatifull. Every parent would love to hear that their children think about them like that.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I’m sorry for your loss Andy, it seems like she was a wonderful lady and mother. My thoughts are with you and your family.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Andy,
I am deeply sorry for your great loss in your family.
Just from this post, I could feel the intense love that you felt for your Mother, and you were as lucky to have her as she was to have you. We all respect your privacy and respect it - no need to write more than you feel comfortable with. We are all here for you in all the tough times in your life, and thank you for sharing this one with us.
Cliche’s cannot help now.
Words cannot help now.
You need to do what is best for you at this time, and nothing we say can change your feelings.
Thank you, and best wishes and condolences.
- Justin Morley
September 14th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Andy … Thanks for this. My dad passed away 20 years ago and it feels as if I just had lunch with him last week. Those we love really do stay with us in the kind of wonderful memories you have of your mom.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s hard losing a parent, I lost mine a couple years ago. But your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, and I’m so glad you gave us this opportunity to hear about her. It made me think about how I want to be for my son. As long as you keep remembering her, she’ll keep touching live.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I would bet anything on the planet that she was very proud of you, Andy. Your Mom sounds like a world-class woman.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
precious cargo & smooth sailing for your mom, andy. and ditto the sentiment you expressed so eloquently herein - i felt my the same for my mom’s passing … hugs for you and yours …
September 14th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
My condolences to you and your family for you loss.
I lost an uncle, who I never knew well, two weeks ago.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I have fought the good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.
2 Timothy 4:7
September 14th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
So sorry for your loss Andy. Much love to you.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Andy,
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s clear from your words that your Mom was a wonderful woman. The world needs more people like her.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Melissa
September 14th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Andy, my sincerest condolences on your loss. I am truly sorry to hear this news. That you have such nice things to say about your mother is a credit to both you and her. Best wishes to you and your family.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
So sorry, Andy. Your photo of her tells volumes.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Oh Andy. I’m so sorry. I lost my mom in may. My deepest condolences.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Andy,
I want to express that I am very sorry for the loss of your mom. I so relate to your comments and appreciate your sharing them with us
It will soon be a year that dad has been gone. I too was not there at the time of his passing but I did get to spend a lot of time with him while he was in the hospital, time that I would have not traded for everything.
I pray that each day will be just a little bit easier then the last one.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Dear Andy,
My sincerest condolences to you and your family. I lost my grandfather to Alzheimer’s Disease back in 2003. Although I think of him often, this made me think of him yet again and feel that same connection since I experienced a similar loss as you did. Both diseases are filled with struggle and take them too soon, but who are we to judge? The important thing is that they went with grace and dignity and were surrounded by family and love. If only we could all be so fortunate.
To know the passing on of someone as ‘beautiful’ is to really know how to celebrate life and accept that memories live on eternally.
Your mother would be so proud of you for this. I’m a mom and I’m proud of you also.
May you find the pain of loss temporary and the consolation of peace permanent.
Sincerely,
Melissa Davis
TheMacMommy
September 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Andy,
I am sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. I lost an aunt about a year ago, and life has been slightly more difficult without her, but I have no idea how I could begin to deal with the passing of my mother. You have my thoughts and prayers.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss Andy. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Andy,
My sincere condolences to you and your family. It seems you have handled the situation with dignity and class and I respect that. She sounds like an amazing lady.
Take care,
Scott Lough
Calgary, AB
September 14th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
May you find peace.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Andy thank for sharing this with us. Please except my condolences to you and your family. Your Mom sure sounds a lot like my Mom. I wish I had your ‘gift’ to be able to write about her so eloquently.
My Mom has been gone since March 2001. I still miss her very much and am thinking a lot about her today.
Peace.
John Griffin
Calary
September 14th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Andy, so sorry for your loss, but thank you so much for sharing this with us. And yes, it does seem like a perfect picture.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
So sorry to hear of your loss Andy. My though and prayers are with you and your family. Cancer is a cruel thing.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Andy,
I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
Best.
September 14th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Andy, I am so saddened to hear of your loss. Your words have painted a lovely portrait of a wonderful woman. Speaking from experience (I lost my mother to cancer 7 years ago) I can assure you that the pain will diminish over time, and that you will never forget the precious gift of the time you had with her in your life.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Sorry to hear of your loss.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
it was always a treat when you talked about your mom in your podcasts. we could hear your love & devotion to her in your voice, and your recipes. :-)
you are a special member of our community, and it’s wonderful that she brought you into our world. deepest sympathies to you and your family.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Andy, How sorry I am for the loss of your Mother.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
My prayers go out to you and your family Andy.
Bimmerdad
September 14th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Andy, thanks for sharing the eulogy. I am glad you shared this part of your life. Strangely, I went through this, too, all at about the same time. My mother just passed August 5th, two days before her 74th birthday, so she was very close to your mom in age, too.
I had the part to play of being the oldest and 1,500 miles away. During the last 2 years of her stay in the long term care specialty hospital, I had to make quite a few trips back home. Luckily, I have 2 great sisters living close by that kept everything together, although, you think you might be ready, when the time came, we weren’t. But, it will turn out okay.
I felt the same about the photography, we had to go through a lot of pictures for the service, I don’t think I had as good of luck as you did. Even the detail of the meal with your siblings happened to us, too. The 5th was my sister’s birthday, we ducked out for a quick meal and they called us back. I had told her before we left that we’d be back soon and that I loved her, I believe she heard me.
All my best to you & your family.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Andy,
A couple years back I lost my grandfather to cancer, I was incredibly close to him and this loss is with me every day. In your words about your mother I was able to reconnect with some emotions I had not allowed myself to feel since his passing, thank you for sharing with this community. My wholehearted condolences, your mother was obviously very much loved by you and your family. You will surely be in my thoughts.
Daniel
September 14th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
What a beautiful photo.. it says “mom” so perfectly. I am so saddened to hear of her passing.
I’ve read that often people wait until others have left the room to die, to spare them that moment. When my brother died, he waited until my mom, who was at his bedside, fell asleep, before he passed.
My own mom has been battling cancer for two years now, and I’ve been her primary caregiver. I know all too well how exhausting and stressful the treatments and doctor visits can be for both patient and family. I hope your mom, and you and your family can find peace and comfort now.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Very sorry to hear this. Condolences to you and your family and thank you for sharing your eulogy.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Andy, thank you for sharing that. I feel as if I am one of the lucky one who has a mother like yours. One who cares for other out of love. As I read your eulogy I started to cry because what you said about your mother sounds like my mother. My mother and don’t always see eye to eye, but I never cease to love her for being such an admirable person. I don’t know how you are feeling right now and I don’t ever to want to know that feeling, but I know that one day I will and I hope I can look back at your words for some type of encouragement. Again thank you for sharing this Andy, and I am sorry for yours and your family’s loss.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
I’m sorry for your loss and grateful that you shared your mom’s story. It’s beautiful, inspiring, and heartwarming.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
My best wishes, not much else to say. Good luck Andy, good luck to your family as well.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Andy, sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing with your fans.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Andy,
Your mother was very fortunate to have had children who loved her as she loved them.
Teaching your children to love themselves and others without conditions is the greatest
gift you can give them. You a good man to have learned her lessons.
Herb Myers
zacksback
September 14th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Mr. Ihnatko,
You are a friendly and insightful voice on my iPod and Twitter feed. I know your mother was proud of her your ability to connect with people you had never met and better their day with warmth, wit and intelligence. I wish I possessed the ability to do the same for you today in your time of grief. Thank you for what you do, and you have my condolences for your loss.
Inadequately,
Dave
September 14th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I’m sorry to hear of your loss. Take care of your family and yourself.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Mr. I.:
Thank you for sharing this very personal thing. I think it’s safe to say that all your fans are thinking of you today.
Wishing peace for you and your family.
Maurice Kessler
September 14th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Mr Ihnatko,
That is an wonderful photograph. I am so sorry for your loss.
I understand the Matlock references now. Your Mom and you
can still make me smile.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Condolences. Take care.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I’m very sorry to hear about your mom. My deepest condolences. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us, and I hope you will find comfort from everyone here. Losing a parent is extremely difficult, to say the least.
I love the photo of your mom. She’s looking at you, with lots of love and pride, you can just tell. Sounds like she was an awesome mom, you are indeed so lucky, and she is also lucky to have you as a son too.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you, take care.
*totally crying*
Nitrozac
September 14th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Andy,
As a person who has listened to you through various podcasts, follows you on Twitter, et al., I strangely feel like you are a friend. Therefore, my heart is heavy with your loss. I hope that you are able to quickly move past the grieving, and have comfort in knowing she is in a better place. My thoughts are with you and your family in this time of sorrow.
Darren Rowley
September 14th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
My condolences to you and your family. My father died of cancer in 1991 and mother died in 2002 of cancer. Thank you for sharing something so private and personal.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I will say a pray for you, your family and your mom.
God Bless and keep you.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Dignity on all sides. Andy, we are so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
Dale and Amanda
September 14th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
My condolences.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Andy I am so sorry for your loss. As someone who is lucky enough to work with you, and who has worked with you over this past year, I can attest that you were a good son - going so far as to record MacBreak Weekly from “Mom’s house” - birds singing and all. I know you did your best to take care of her - sometimes sacrificing yourself in the process. I am sorry I never got to meet her, but - I am confident that I know a little bit about the person she must have been - because I see her in you.
I wish you, your sisters, and the rest of your family all the best during this troubling time.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Andy and Family,
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad to lung cancer last year. his last day was spent very similar to yours with your mom. We were all with him at the time he passed. It was a very tough time but to have been with him that day was very special, as yours was with your Mom!
My condolences and best wishes,
Frank
September 14th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Andy,
Thank you for sharing this very private event - your eulogy made me think of my own mom, and what strength she showed when she cared for her father with Alzheimers. I can’t bear to think of this world without her. — My deepest condolences for your loss.
September 14th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Oh Andy this is such a heartfelt post about your mother and that was a touching eulogy. I’m sorry for your loss but I love how you acknowledge that your mother is now beginning a new journey. And with talking about your mother and your love for her, by having it on your blog, she’ll live on through us your readers and whoever reads your blog. And in a small way, by writing about her, you have given her immortality.
September 14th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Andy, I’m very sorry for your loss. These are wonderful words, both your post and your eulogy. All of my best wishes go to you and your family.
September 14th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Andy,
My sincerest condolences on your loss.
Bill
September 14th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Andy,
What a wonderful photograph. My condolences to you and your family.
Bob
September 14th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
What a moving post, so sorry to hear about your loss, Andy. Your mother seems like a wonderful, wonderful person. You will be in our thoughts, sir.
September 14th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
I just want to say that I am sorry for your loss and that I wish I could have met this wonderful woman. She sounds so sweet. I will have you and your family in my thoughts.
September 14th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Andy,
I’ve been reading and enjoying your work for years. You clearly loved your mother very much and have taken many of her best qualities into yourself.
My condolences from a fan whom you’ve never met.
Regards,
Cale
September 14th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am sorry to hear that cancer has claimed another beautiful soul.
September 14th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Hi Andy,
I just wanted to offer my condolences. It’s a beautiful photograph and tribute.
September 14th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Andy,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my dad to lung cancer about 7 years ago. He was my best friend and I miss him dearly. I want to Thank You for letting us share this part of your life. Take peace in knowing that she is in a much better place, and will never suffer again.
I believe that children are truly a reflection of their parents (at least I hope). If this is true, your mother must have been a most amazing woman. Thank you for sharing and thank you for your writing. It is no wonder that you are so beloved.
God Bless You
Scott Miller
September 14th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
My sympathy and prayers for you and yours.
September 14th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Andy
,
Sorry for your loss.
Mike
September 14th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Andy,
I lost my mom a little over 7 years ago, so I know there are no words to ease your loss, only time will help with that. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts.
—Joe Joyce
September 14th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
I am a regular reader of your column in the Chicago Sun Times and I listen regularly to your podcast with Leo Laporte. My sincere condolences.
September 14th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Andy, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom’s passing. She sounds like an extraordinary woman.
Sly
September 14th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Peace.
September 14th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Andy, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. Your wonderfully moving post is a great reflection of both her and yourself.
September 14th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Andy,
I am deeply saddened to hear of your loss. The eulogy you wrote was truly moving. It brought a tear to my eye.
Although we have never met, I have a great affection for you and for the warmth, kindness, wit and intelligence that you show in your public life. Seeing the beautiful picture of your mother, it is obvious where you get those assets from.
My deepest condolences and all my love to you and to your family in this difficult time.
Alec
Thailand
September 14th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
My deepest condolences, Andy. I’m so sorry for your loss.
September 14th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Mr, Ihnatko: Remember the smiles, the fun times, and the simple things. Those are the memories that will help you get through. Take care of your family and yourself. Thoughts and prayers.
September 14th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Our condolences Andy
Que en paz descanse su querida Madre!
September 14th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Dear Andy,
My condolences, I wish you a long life. A dear friend of mine passed away 3 weeks ago from Cancer.
My thoughts are with you.
Chris
September 14th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Andy,
I’m very very sorry for your loss Andy. I lost a dear friend earlier this year to Leukemia. It sounds like your Mom was an amazing person.
Joel
September 14th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
My condolences, Andy. Seems to me a fitting eulogy, and you seem to be at peace with her passing.
September 14th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Andy
My deepest sympathy to you and your family. This hideous desease took my Dad 3 years ago in about the same time frame. My thoughts are with you
September 14th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
My condolences. Difficult stuff. The lyrics for the song mentioned in the talk at the funeral “Let There Be Peace On Earth, And Let It Begin With Me” are at http://www.jan-leemusic.com/lyrics.htm .
September 14th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Sorry mate. Take care.
September 14th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Andy:
My deepest condolences to you and your family. Nearly six years ago, I lost my mother to cancer - and while her passing was a blessing (I too was away from the room for the moment) and a relief, and the days and weeks immediately following her funeral were seemingly so much easier than the last few weeks of her life, her absence is still very keenly felt.
There is a poem I keep near by to help console me in my loss, and I’d like to share it with you:
The Resurrection of the Dead
We are buried below with everything we did
with our tears and our laughs
We have made storerooms of history out of it all,
galleries of the past, and treasure houses,
buildings and walls and endless stairs of iron and marble
in the cellars of time.
We will not take anything with us.
Even plundering kings, they all left something here.
Lovers and conquerors, happy and sad,
they all left something here, a sign, a house,
like a man who seeks to return to a beloved place
and purposely forgets a book, a basket, a pair of glasses,
so that he will have an excuse to come back to the beloved place.
In the same way we leave things we here.
In the same way the dead leave us.
by Yehudi Amichai
Translated from the Hebrew by Leon Weiseltier
Go in joy, friend.
Lita
September 14th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Andy,
You have my deepest sympathy. Thank you for sharing this time in your life with us and doing so with such a beautifully written posting.
Sincerely,
David Hori
September 14th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Oh, Andy.. so sorry to hear about your loss. You have such a gift of expression and you’ve painted a beautiful picture of your mom. It has been clear to your listeners and readers for some time how much you’ve cared about and cared for your mom. In time may all the memories be happy ones.
Carol
September 14th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Andy.
It is with deep sympathy that I say I am sorry to hear of the passing of your mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May time help heal the sadness you feel. Keep your head up and remember all the good times that you and your family share with you mother.
May God bless you and your family in this time of sadness.
With heavy heart a twit tv follower.
Judy Wenger.
September 14th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
My condolences to your family. Your eulogy was so nice.
I lost my dad to colon cancer 3 years ago. I wasn’t there the night it happened, but I’d been there most of the days before, fortunately I felt like everything that could be said, had been.
It took a few months before I was distracted and going through the motions, but I did get past it.
September 14th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Go mbuailimid le chéile arís, go gcoinní Dia i mbos a láimhe thú.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Andy, you have always demonstrated wisdom and kindness, even when criticizing a crappy product or service. Now we all know one of the sources of that. Thank you for sharing your feelings and memories of a clearly great person. Peace to you and yours.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Mr. Ihnatko,
Since I first stumbled across Yellowtext (lo these many years ago) I have considered you a class act. Now I understand where much of that came from.
I wish you and your family peace.
HH
September 14th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Andy,
So sorry to hear about your sad loss.
Your blog post and eulogy were stunningly beautiful.
I would have liked to have met your mother and I’m sorry I’ll never get that chance, she sounded like a wonderful woman. My mum was also born in 1933 but I was one of the kids who lost their mum before I really got to know her as an adult. So in some respects, your eulogy was even more poignant to me, but in a good way as it made me reflect again on what might have been, and brought many memories and thoughts back to my consciousness.
Thanks so much for sharing your personal thoughts with us all, I’m sure your mother would be overjoyed with such a reflection on all that she achieved, and the acknowledgement of the abundance of love and affection she both gave and received from her family and friends.
Please accept my sincere condolences to you and the rest of your family.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Andy -
The picture of your mom in your famous hat shares so much. Her smile and eyes share the same peace, compassion and kindness that all who know you see in you. You are obviously a loving son who gave your mom much to be proud of. Condolences to you and your family, brother.
Paul Kent
Macworld Conference & Expo
September 14th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
condolences andy. she seems like she was wonderful. she was also fortunate to have a son as caring as you.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Sorry to hear of your loss Andy.
Very beautiful, genuine and heartfelt eulogy. She sounds like a wonderful woman. You no doubt have filled her with pride your whole life (well ok, except for that time…) and you will continue to do her credit every day. My thoughts are with you.
M.
September 14th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
My heartfelt condolences to you and all others who love her, Andy.
You honored her memory beautifully with this entry.
September 14th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Andy,
I hope that this comment finds you well, and in recovery. Although one can never truly recover from the loss of a loved one, I think its helpful to keep living your life in a fashion that will satisfy the person who’s memory you attempt to preserve.
September 14th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
A wonderful eulogy - poignant, but not weepy or maudlin. A fine tribute. Very sorry for your loss.
September 14th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Andy,
You give a lot of us laughter and knowledge through your writings, hopefully some of these comments here will help you get through this time, as a little gift of ours back to you.
My condolences.
Best,
~brian
September 14th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Big virtual hugs. I never got to meet your mom, but she left behind a fine example of what a wonderful person she was.
I appreciate so much her sharing you with us and you sharing her with us here in return.
Double hugs next I see you. Glad you’re doing well. Hope everyone else is too.
Hugs,
Maggie
September 14th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Andy, my thoughts are with you and your family. Beautiful way that you managed to bring some of us into your world, and that was a eulogy that seemed most fitting for a mom.
-Brian
September 14th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Andy,
What a fitting tribute. For a woman who didn’t like her photo taken, she seems to be completely open to the lens. No doubt it’s someone looking proudly at their child.
Sounds like you sent her off in style.
Regards,
Ted
September 14th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Thank you for your beautiful story. I recently saw some film converted to video of my mom made in 1952 that I was unaware of. It brought me to my knees. Always treasure that picture
Mick
September 14th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I’m sorry Andy. I hope your family is doing as well as you seem to be…
September 14th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Andy
Longtime follower and former comic book reader (loved the art but lost interest in the stories); sorry for your loss but sounds like you have an Annual full of memories.
Hang tough!
Ron
September 14th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
My deepest condolences, Andy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and even though this is just one of many expressions of sympathy, I hope they all serve to comfort you.
Kevin
Memphis, TN
September 14th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Andy,
My deepest condolences.
Joe
September 14th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Andy,
So sorry to hear of your loss. The photo and eulogy were lovely. Thanks for deciding to share them with us. I’m sure your mother is looking over you and is very proud.
John
September 14th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Andy,
A great tribute and what I am sure is only one of many great photos.
I’ve always loved your line about podcasting from Mom’s Casino and Resort. She sounded like a wonderful person and a treat to be around.
My prayers are with you this evening,
Gil
Charlotte, NC
September 14th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Andy,
I am so very sorry. She sounds like a wonderful mother.
Tony
September 14th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Andy,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for sharing that with us. It makes me wish I had met her. I lost my mother to cancer at 10 years old. You are truly blessed to have had the years of memories you had with her. You never really heal completely from losing a parent. All you can do is hold your memories of her love close to your heart and go forward driven by that love.
God Bless,
Jim
Plainville, CT
September 14th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Mr Ihnatko, thank you for sharing that moving tribute to your mother. My condolences to you and your family.
September 14th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Andy,
When I would hear you on a podcast from your mom’s house I knew you were being a devoted son. You were blessed to have a mom as special as her and she (and your dad) are blessed to have a son like you.
May you find peace in this time of change.
Doug
September 14th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
*cries*
That was so eloquent and beautiful, Andy. Your mother sounds like a wonderful lady.
God will be pleased to have her with Him, now.
God Bless,
Nick T
September 14th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Very sorry for your loss and grateful to have read what you shared.
September 14th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
What a perfect photo and what a perfect tribute to your mother.
Thank you for sharing this piece of your life, Andy.
Sincerely,
Chris Hart
Connecticut Macintosh Users Group
September 14th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Congratulations for having had such a wonderful, loving person to indelibly enrich your life.
September 14th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Andy, I am so sorry for your loss.
September 14th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
My condolences to you and your family. She sounded like an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing what must be a very difficult topic.
Tim
Canada
September 14th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
My condolences.
September 14th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Very sorry to hear of your loss, Andy. Your Mom gave birth to a very cool guy and your writings an insights during this time ring true for all of us who have lost a Mom or Dad.
Don f/
Jeannette, PA
September 14th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
So sorry to hear about your loss. My condolences and thoughts go out to you.
September 14th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Andy,
I’m very sorry to hear about your mom’s passing. From your beautiful description of her, I can see quite a lot of her in you. I’d say that she was one hell of a mom for bringing you up to be who you are.
-Tim
September 14th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Andy,
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. My mom died of lung cancer on Dec. 19, 2005. She was diagnosed only 3 months earlier.
September 14th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
My prayers are with you Andy. You have brought a laugh to me many a time and I wanted to make sure you knew my thoughts are with you.
September 14th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Andy, May the peace of God be with you, your family, and your mother as you make it through this time in your lives. I pray that the Holy Spirit is with you in your time of celebrating your mothers Life. This picture of her is one you will cherish for ever!!
September 14th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
The thoughts prayers and blessings of my family are with your family tonight Andy. What a joyful thing to have a Mother who you were with in the beginning and at the time of her passing on to God.
September 14th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Very sorry to hear that. I wish you & your family all the best in dealing with this loss.
September 14th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
My prayers are also with you and your family. I’m so sorry to hear the news. Hang in there, Andy.
September 14th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Andy,
Thank you for sharing your memories of your mom. The love and honor you have shown her is an important reminder to appreciate our loved ones while they are with us. I’ve read and listened to your work for years because of your knowledge and sense of humor. Not that it was absent before, but I’ve now added “decency” and “care” to the top of the list.
My best to you and your family.
–Michael F
September 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I saw this on your Twitter and I am so sorry for your loss. I missed my grandfather’s passing by a few minutes when my parents and I went to visit him in the hospital. You have my prayers for you and the rest of your family. Love the pic, BTW. :-)
September 15th, 2008 at 12:10 am
My condolences to you and your family over the passing of your Mom. I lost my Father to lung cancer back in 1989, it is hard to believe that it has almost been 20 years.
Thank you for sharing the wonderful picture and story of your Mom. I missed the perfect picture of my Father when, at 69 and in chronic pain, he took everyone by surprise and dove (belly flopped) into a pool only to come up laughing.
The pain of loss fades with time but not the great memories.
GaryK
September 15th, 2008 at 12:12 am
My condolences. We’ll all miss the birds and rain in the background, and now understand why you were podcasting from there.
September 15th, 2008 at 12:25 am
My condolences, My thoughts are with you and your family.
September 15th, 2008 at 12:29 am
Andy,
My deepest condolences, my friend, as I read your kind words tears rolled down my cheeks.
I know how much you love both your mother and father and your entire family. We have talked at length about what great families we both were lucky enough to have. I am so sad that you are going through this but I know you will be alright.
Cancer is an absolutely evil thing. One of my good friends died of breast cancer three years ago on memorial day weekend. As I started to realize that she wasn’t going to recover, I still wanted her to live so her husband would have a wife and her son, a mother. I wanted her to live because she was a very special friend. Eventually I realized that I was being selfish and that she wasn’t enjoying life the way it is meant to be. Finally, I had to wish that she could pass so she wouldn’t suffer or be in pain anymore. It was a really, really hard thing but I came to the realization that I was wanting her to live for me and that wasn’t fair to her. Cancer has a way of making death look like a good alternative which is really hard to do.
I know three things 1) Your mom LOVED you and did an excellent job raising you. I know because I am your friend. 2) You did everything above and beyond the call of duty…like you live your life…quality, honesty, integrity. 3) Something good will come out of this. Who knows what? Only time will tell…
I LOVE the picture of your mom in your hat. Of course, I recognized it IMMEDIATELY and I thought to myself who is wearing Andy’s hat? I also remember spending a VERY fun couple of days with you…one day at a light house. I don’t really like to have my picture take either but one of my favorite pictures is the one that you took of me with the light house in the background. You are a very special person, Andy. Take good care of yourself and your family.
I would have called you tonight but it’s too late on your coast. I don’t have your email at home so I am posting this here. Call me when you have time or I’ll call you tomorrow.
Janet
September 15th, 2008 at 12:36 am
Andy
Thank you for sharing a bit of your Mom with us. I can not say I am sorry for your loss because I know she is now free of pain. Sometimes its hard to see that but it gets better
September 15th, 2008 at 12:41 am
Thank you for sharing a little of your mom with us too. Great mothers are better with sharing.
Dan
South Africa
September 15th, 2008 at 12:46 am
Peace to you and your family as you make this transition.
That’s a very loving photograph.
September 15th, 2008 at 12:58 am
I teared up a little bit reading through your eulogy.
My condolences, Andy.
September 15th, 2008 at 12:58 am
Andy,
You are an inspiring being… Your mother was lucky to have you… She can rest easy in knowing that she has given the world a mind that inspires others. I am sorry for your loss, and respect you immensely for how you are handling it. As someone who does not know you but feels a kindred spirit in you, I can only say, thank you for sharing,by everything you have shared, the world is the better for it. I am sorry for your loss… Leo
September 15th, 2008 at 1:21 am
I am sorry to hear about your loss. She certainly sounds like a wonderful mother, and you are a wonderful son for appreciating her.
September 15th, 2008 at 1:25 am
Andy
Sorry for your loss.
My Mother passed away almost 30 years ago when I was 18. Your story brought a warmness to my heart and recalled memories of my mother. As you will see in the years to come, things will remind you of times and events with her. A smile and sometimes a tear may appear as you consider how much you miss her.
But remember nothing in the world though can take away that warmness in your heart when you look back at old photographs and still feel the love as if they were still here.
I still cherish my mom and am truly saddened that I will never meet yours.
Take Care
AY
September 15th, 2008 at 1:38 am
My condolences also.
September 15th, 2008 at 1:41 am
Beautiful and life affirming. Thank you for sharing this moment - you’re mother, her strength and character, the relationship with her son.
On the drive home from a chance family reunion tonight, our kids listened to Robert Munsch audio book readings. The gleeful, belly laughs, especially from my 5-year old, made me smile the entire ride back.
For me, for today, that van ride and this blog post might as well have been what was etched on that golden phonograph record aboard the Voyager.
Andy, thank you for indulging all of our responses, written and unwritten, to your wonderful tribute to your mom.
Micah
September 15th, 2008 at 1:45 am
Hello Andy,
You don’t know me but I am a regular reader, and I was very moved by your eulogy for your mom. I will spare you my stammering platitudes but I wanted to share a thought by a personal hero of mine, the film editor and all-around genius Walter Murch. Writing a letter to a friend who had lost his father, he wrote:
“The image to keep in mind is a slide projector with the lens suddenly removed. The slide is still in the gate, and the image is still projecting but in a diffuse way. Our bodies are the lenses that allow “us-ness” to achieve a particular focus and presence on the screen of this world. But the slide — the soul, the spirit — is still where it was, throwing out its particular colors and tonalities, and tinting the objects it falls upon, waiting for a new lens. When your “eyes” accustom themselves to the lack of sharpness, you will be able to discern the familiar shapes and presences.”
That’s what I would like to have thought of myself when it comes to this stuff, and I hope it is a thought which comforts you. All the best, sir.
–Michael
September 15th, 2008 at 1:48 am
Dear Andy,
My wife is a nurse at hospice here in Wisconsin and I’m a nurse at a nursing home. I lost my Dad to a heart attack and my Mom to cancer. Our condolences on the loss of your wonderful Mom. At times like this, I’ve been comforted by this passage from “The Little Prince”
“When you look up at the sky at night, since I’ll be living on one of them, since I’ll be laughing on one of them, for you, it’ll be as if all the stars are laughing. You’ll have stars that can laugh!”
And he laughed again.
“And when you’re consoled (everyone is eventually consoled), you’ll be glad you’ve known me. You’ll always be my friend. You’ll feel like laughing with me. And you’ll open your windows sometimes just for the fun of it… And your friends will be amazed to see you laughing while you’re looking up at the sky. Then you’ll tell them, ‘Yes, it’s the stars. They always make me laugh!”
I hear my Dad’s laughter in the twinkling of the stars. I hope you hear your Mom’s.
September 15th, 2008 at 2:18 am
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Stay strong mate…
September 15th, 2008 at 2:41 am
That photo is the best! So glad you have it. Much love to you and the family. - JAG
September 15th, 2008 at 3:13 am
My Sympathy,
Cancer is a terrible thing, my wife passes away last March at 40.
I’m thinking of you.
September 15th, 2008 at 3:26 am
Andy -
Thank you for sharing and I hope in some way sharing helps you through it all. If I could hug you I would. Settle for the thought for now.
Garrett
September 15th, 2008 at 4:33 am
Andy, I am so sorry for your loss. Tears are running down my cheeks. I am so happy that you shared this very private part of your life. Tears are running down my cheeks.
May Perpetual Light shine upon her.
–Rob
September 15th, 2008 at 5:38 am
Andy,
I’ve been a fan of yours for many years, follow you on Twitter, and enjoy you on the MacNotables. I say this only to let you know that there is yet another person out here that is glad you make such a positive difference in the world.
I’m so glad you shared this part of your life with us, and wrote such an eloquent and moving eulogy for your Mom. My wife Bobbi and I will hold you in our thoughts and prayers.
September 15th, 2008 at 6:24 am
What a lovely and wonderful woman your mother must have been, to have someone be able to, in a few short paragraphs, make us feel so heartbroken for not having known her.
That picture is stunning - and your explanation about how she hated having her picture taken makes it more so.
Hugs to you and your family.
September 15th, 2008 at 6:34 am
I am really sorry for your loss. Looking at someone’s public presence (in your case your writing, Twitter, blog, podcasts, etc.) it’s easy to think that one knows them, and to forget the human, private side in which things like losing your loved ones happen. Your eulogy is beautiful, and makes your mom’s picture even more beautiful.
My condolences to you and your family.
September 15th, 2008 at 6:55 am
Sorry to hear about that, Andy. Hope you’re bearing up.
Best,
Ian
September 15th, 2008 at 7:00 am
Condolences from an 18-year fan. Keep trusting God.
September 15th, 2008 at 9:22 am
That photo of her says everything. I’m sorry for your loss, Andy.
September 15th, 2008 at 9:26 am
Thank you for sharing the eulogy and the memories of your mom. It is a wonderful tribute to her. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
September 15th, 2008 at 9:39 am
What a lovely photo Andy! The world is still a beautiful place.
September 15th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Andy,
I’m sad to hear of your loss. I went through the same thing 2 years ago when my mom passed. It does get easier as the days pass & with great memories of a great woman to console you, you’ll be fine.
I was touched that you shared some of the eulogy with us as it not only shows the character of your mother, but the talent with words that God blessed you with.
Warmest regards,
dougwalk
September 15th, 2008 at 10:23 am
You’re a lucky, lucky man, Mr. Ihnatko.
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful glimpse of your fortune with the rest of us. It’s quite a touching tribute to someone who was obviously quite exceptional.
I wish you the best, Andy. You deserve it.
September 15th, 2008 at 10:25 am
God bless, your family will be prayed for by many.
September 15th, 2008 at 11:03 am
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. It is inspiring to hear how she lived her life with love. Thank you for sharing with us. Much love to you.
September 15th, 2008 at 11:30 am
All good mothers deserve to be memorialized like this when they go. Thank you for sharing your tribute with us. May God grant you and your family comfort in this difficult time.
September 15th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
God bless you and your family. That’s a wonderful picture to have.
September 15th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Andy,
Very sorry to hear about your mum, but what a wonderful, heartfelt and moving post.
Best wishes and take care,
Paul,
London, UK
September 15th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
What a great woman your mom was. Virtual hugs!
Laurie
September 15th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I am the old man who spoke with you at MacWorld last year and requested and got your autograph. Like others, your report caused tears. I am so sorry to read of your loss. Your mom was obviously a wonderful woman and raised a wonderful son. Your picture of her is a treasure you will enjoy for years.
God bless.
Sent with heartfelt condolences.
September 15th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Dear Andy:
You are in my thoughts and so is your Mom. I lost my Mom 3 years ago and now I am the “Matriarch” with all the strings you spoke so beautifully about. Hospise is like being with “hovering angels” with their love and care. Thank you for sharing your Mom and life with us.
Warm Regards,
Juli Steinhauer
September 15th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Soon the ice will melt, and the blackbirds sing
along the river which he frequented, as pleasantly as ever.
The same everlasting serenity will appear in this face of God,
and we will not be sorrowful, if he is not.
(H. D. Thoreu)
I am very sorry for your loss.
September 15th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
I’m often told the proudest, most meaningful thing a person can do in their life is raise a child. I reckon your mum (as we say in Australia) did a fine job and, even though I never met her… I’m sure I would have liked her.
September 15th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
My condolences, Andy, on the death of your mother. What a wonderful woman she must have been, something she passed on to you, judging by your words.
It’s been 21 years since my mother died, six years for Dad, but for both of them, the time I spent with them, by their sides in the last weeks is something I’ll always cherish.
September 15th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Very sorry to read this, Andy, but thanks for sharing your beautiful eulogy. Best to you and your family.
September 15th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Hi Andy -
I was so sorry to hear about your mom — John’s been keeping me abreast of the situation, and I can only imagine the struggle you and your family have been through this past year.
I lost my mother some thirteen years ago, but in a totally different way. She wasn’t sick, she didn’t suffer, she just died. I often wonder what is easier on the surviving family. Is it better for us to be prepared for someone’s passing, even though in most cases, the loved one is suffering, or, is it better that the loved one just goes quickly without suffering, even though the family members they leave behind are totally unprepared?
Whatever the answer is and however they pass on, we all can be confident in one thing — we know we were loved more than anyone that doesn’t have children can possibly comprehend. And for that, we will be eternally grateful.
Your loving tribute to her moved me deeply (at work, no less, which was difficult to explain) and I sent it to a co-worker of mine who lost her father to cancer this past May. Though we wish they were still here, their memories live strongly inside us and those memories help to ease the pain somewhat.
I wish you and your family my deepest condolences. Please come down and visit whenever you feel you need to get away, we’re happy to have you.
Love, Michele
September 15th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
My condolences to you and your family.
September 15th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Very sad to hear about your mom. As you can see, there are many people here sending you their best wishes so please know you are a great guy and the friend we all would like to spend more time with. I think this speaks to how cool your mom was with you.
Sending good vibes your way Andy
September 15th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Sorry for your loss. It’s always hard to lose a parent.
September 15th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Condolences to you and yours. Thank you for sharing this loving tribute. It brought back wonderful memories of my mom who I lost just a few years ago.
As one chapter ends, a new one begins. The pages continue turning…
September 15th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
I knew it was your mom in the photo the instant I saw her eyes. She smiled with her eyes. And, really, she looks damn good in your hat. Well done, Andy.
September 15th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Beautiful thoughts, Andy. Your eulogy matched my mother’s personality to a tee and I know that in heaven, when our mothers get together to talk about their children, they will be friends as well. My prayers are with you and your family.
September 15th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Andy,
My condolences to you and your family. There is no understading such a loss. . . I wish you comfort.
September 16th, 2008 at 1:12 am
Andy,
I was so saddened to hear of your mother’s passing. I’m sorry that John and I weren’t able to attend the service. Your eulogy is a wonderful remembrance and celebration of her life. Thank you for posting and sharing it with all of us. You and your family are in our prayers.
September 16th, 2008 at 2:00 am
Andy, my condolences I lost my father to cancer March 20th and shortly after I realized that at some level I was relieved. I saw what happened to him over the last 6 months and it broke my heart. Now when I miss him I browse through my iMovie catalog and realize how much I loved him and how energetic he was before he was sick. I hope you and your family will find be able to find peace in knowing that your Mom’s suffering is over.
September 16th, 2008 at 3:03 am
That was so touching andy. Blessings and deepest condolences to you and your family.
September 16th, 2008 at 7:53 am
A lovely tribute. My sympathy and condolences on your loss.
September 16th, 2008 at 8:45 am
I’m very sorry to hear this. She looks like a very beautiful and special person. With a tear in my eye and a heavy weight in my heart I wish you and your family the best.
September 16th, 2008 at 8:50 am
So very sorry for your family loss.
September 16th, 2008 at 9:18 am
Andy, I’ve never met you and I am sure I never will. But I feel that you sharing this about your Mom was something great… Luckily my folks are still around and generally pretty young and healthy — but I’ve realized after losing an aunt and uncle that our time on this floating rock are extremely quick, and you never take the gift of life for granted.
Luckily she had a family that will keep stories and memories of her alive and she will live on through them.
Everyone with a Mom and Dad will ultimately be a member of the lost parents club, sadily… Thanks again for sharing Internationally Beloved Tech Pundit.
September 16th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Andy, I’m very sorry. She sounds like a wonderful lady, and considering what I know of her son through his writings, she undoubtedly was.
I’m glad that your family was able to come together to help each other accept her passing. My Dad was sick for a long time before he died, but my Mom and the rest of my family have never exactly been emotionally accessible, so even with all the time to prepare, it still felt like a shock we weren’t ready for.
Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.
September 16th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Andy,
What a lovely photo, what a lovely smile, what a lovely story. Your love for your mom shines through and I’m sure was a wonderful gift to her as you walked her to the Finish Line.
In your post, I noticed a conspicuous lack of the words that set my teeth on edge when I here them: “she lost her battle with cancer.” I run an online cancer support group (am a survivor myself) and we’ve banished those words from our tributes to our members who have passed. We talk of the cancer journey as a race and embrace the language of accomplishment when that Race is Finished:
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
Let me frame her story the way we would: Your mom has Finished Her Race, Crossing over the Line into the arms of her God and all those she loved who went before her! It is a victory to pass over in dignity, on your own terms, with those you love surrounding you! No “lost battle” here!
I have read your words for years with a smile — I hope it helps to read my few words with a smile, even blurred with a few tears.
Thank you for sharing your mom and your love for her,
Susan Donley
September 16th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Andy, I am sorry for your loss. I will pray for you and your family.
September 16th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Please accept my sincere condolences. I am sorry for your loss.
September 16th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Andy,
My thoughts are with you.
That is a great photo you have of your mum.
- Alex Hardy
September 16th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
.
September 17th, 2008 at 12:19 am
Sorry to hear that. My prayers to you and your family.
September 17th, 2008 at 1:18 am
a beautiful image and a moving tribute.
i’ve been wondering whether to write anything here (and/or twitter and/or flickr etc…) as it feels almost like I’m encroaching somewhat…
but still, i wanted to say i’m sorry for your loss. and also how much you are appreciated for being who you are.
best wishes from a friend (and fan) in hong kong.
September 17th, 2008 at 7:30 am
Andy sorry for your lost. As someone who also lost a mother to cancer my prayers are for you and your family. The only advice I can give you is take day by day and always remember the good times.
September 17th, 2008 at 9:18 am
Andy, Sorry for your loss–your writing about your mother was beautiful. I lost my father to cancer. He was a rocket engineer and was given 6 to 18 months and in typical engineer fashion, died in 12 months–right in the middle. I have zip advise for you, but I will say selfishly that I look forward to hearing you on Leo’s podcasts soon.
September 17th, 2008 at 9:39 am
My condolences…
Bring on the fond memories!
September 17th, 2008 at 11:56 am
I just wanted to say I was very sorry to read about your family’s loss.
September 17th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
I walked the same path you did just 18 months ago, though I must admit my youngest brother carried the biggest share of the load. We were blessed to have her, and to be with her when she started the next phase of her life. You’ve done her proud, and I’m sure she told you that. Your eulogy was a wonderful tribute; I know it was at the same time a wonderful honor and difficult experience as it was for me. God bless her and those she loved.
September 17th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
My deepest condolences go out to you, Andy, and your family. I lost my Grandfather to cancer two years ago and the process was very taxing, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I know all too well what you mean when you say “vacation from the Cancer Office”. It’s so hard to watch someone you love fight their way through, and feel almost helpless. My Grandfather was a huge part of my upbringing, being a best friend in my youth when I had none, and as I got older, a role model of how to live my life, a spiritual guide, and still the best friend I ever had. To lose a mother I am sure is far more taxing, but I am glad you, yourself, are doing okay. It seems after these events in our life we can always find that one universal thing to remember about the person who has passed. That thing is love. Continue to remember and live that love and her memory will be served indefinitely.
Look forward to hearing more from you soon,
A reader, Brandon
September 17th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Wishing you and your family all the best right now.
Hang in there!
September 17th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Bless you, blessings and peace to your family. Thank you for sharing such a personal event; your mother’s love speaks through you.
September 17th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
I’m very sorry for your loss Andy. Best wishes to you and your family.
September 18th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Deep condolences. I’ve been thru’ similar. And it sucks.
September 18th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Andy, My deepest condolences. I also lost my mom a few weeks ago. I can tell you it’s not going to get any easier any time soon.
September 18th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
for what it’s worth I hope you find rest in God through this time of mourning, you and your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
September 19th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Clearly your web site name wasn’t appropriate for this post which was anything but a waste of bandwidth. All the best.
September 19th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Andy, condolences to you and your family. What a great photo of your Mom! You’re right about the bit of tension in her expression, but, my, how lovely she was!
September 19th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Andy, You and your family are in my prayers. I am so sorry for your loss, it is clear from your writing that you had a special bond with your mother.
God bless you.
Myra
September 20th, 2008 at 2:07 am
So sorry Andy.
Thank you for all the joy over the years. May it return to you threefold.
September 21st, 2008 at 1:42 am
There are no words, so I’ll send you a giant, bone-crushing hug instead. Your mom looks like one of those special moms that no one ever forgets, no matter how briefly they knew her. You were truly blessed to have her, and she was truly blessed with a chance to watch you and your siblings and her grandchildren grow and learn and carry on with her legacy of peace and love. And man, that hat shot is priceless!
My heartfelt condolences…
~Katie
September 21st, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Andy, Thanks so much for sharing your photo and thoughts and eulogy about your mom with us. She sounds like she was a truly beautiful person. My sincerest condolences. My own dad passed away last year and I had the honor of delivering his eulogy where one of the highlights was sharing his favorite puns. Another theme was his faith, something which I grateful our family shares. I *still* vary between past and present tense in referring to him because he *is* present so often. I hope you have a healing grieving experience and that she continues to bless your life. Teresa
September 22nd, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Andy:
I feel as if I know you and my friend, therefore your loss feels personal to me. Please accept my condolences and if you ever want to talk about this with a friend you did not know you had- give me a holler.
Once again, my sincerest condolences to you and all who feel your loss.
paul
September 22nd, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Andy,
I’m not one to cry much but I honestly had tears in my eyes after reading your tribute to your mom. You’re such a beautiful writer and you had such a beautiful mom.
John H
September 22nd, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Andy, what a beautiful eulogy, and a beautiful photo as well! My thoughts are with you and your family.
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Dear Andy
Accept my condolences. I apologize for the loss and can understand how difficult it must be for you now and in the future. Mothers are after all the person that brought us into this world and so they are intrinsically connected with the universe. I can understand that you will need time to reflect but in the meantime your charm and humor will be missed on the TWIT podcasts. Once again, my sincerest condolences.
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Andy
Sorry for taking so long to post. Having recently been through a battle with cancer involving my mom (thankfully she managed to come through the other end) I know exactly what you’ve been through for the last year, I’m so sorry to hear that things didn’t work out for your mom, but life throws up what it dos. Your mom is at peace now and I’m sure she completely appreciates all the effort you’ve put in over the last week
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Andy,
Please accept my condolences on the death of your mother.
Thank you for a loving and poigant look at your Mom and your relationship with her. It was clear through your story that both you and your mom understood and loved and cherished the relationship with each other.
Remember and cherish all of the memories of your Mom in all of its facets, be it digital, analog, or tangible…..
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Andy- All the best to you, your family, and the many who were lucky enough to be touched by “Mom.” We could all sense the warmth you felt for your mother every time you mentioned her on these -nets we call inter-. All of us are glad you feel you are in a good place, and we wish you the courage you will need in the coming days. Thank you for sharing with us, Andy; we hope we are some sort of consolation in this trying time in your life.
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Andy,
Your mother, your family, and of course yourself, are all in my own family’s prayers. I may never have met your mother, but you can tell from the wonderful picture you posted that she had a love of life and of course family.
You always seem to put a smile on our faces, maybe some of these fans of yours here will put one on yours.
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:57 pm
I was touch by your words about your mother. God’s peace be with you during this time.
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Andy, I’m so sorry to read about your loss. You wrote a beautiful tribute and I’m glad to see all of the other positive comments - our thoughts are with you.
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Andy,
What a beautiful memorial for a wonderful mom.
I am so sorry for loss.
With Deepest Sympathy to you and your family.
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:36 pm
My condolences to you and your family. May your mother rest in peace, and may you remain strong.
- Hank
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Hey Andy,
I am so Sorry for your loss. She was really brave. May she rest in peace. My prayers are with you and your family.
Aloke
September 24th, 2008 at 12:08 am
Andy,
So sorry to learn of your loss. My thoughts are with you.
Michael
September 24th, 2008 at 1:22 am
my deepest condolences for your loss Andy
September 24th, 2008 at 1:50 am
I’m very sad to hear this; with deepest condolences to you and your family. Your mom is out of Cancer World - a difficult place, a very difficult place.
September 24th, 2008 at 2:18 am
Dear Andy,
I just heard Mac Break Weekly, and consequently, about your mother. You have my deepest condolences.
It’s clear from what you wrote that you loved her very much, and I’m sure she knew that.
Vic
September 24th, 2008 at 2:39 am
I just heard about the passing of your mom on MacBreak, Andy. I feel such a tool for not even knowing about it sooner. I’m so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
September 24th, 2008 at 2:39 am
Dear Andy,
So sorry to hear about your recent loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
We lost our Mom this past March. There was a sense of relief to see her no longer struggling with her illness. And the wonderful memories we shared continue to fill us with joy and happiness.
Happy to hear that you could spend time with her throughout.
Bob
September 24th, 2008 at 4:16 am
Just heard about your sad loss on MBW.
I am so sorry for the worry and pain you’ve been through.
As somebody who makes me smile regularly through your broadcasts and writings I felt a need to say a thankyou at this moment when perhaps you are understandably feeling just that little bit more alone in this world.
You’re not alone Andy. The posts here are testament to the fact that people care about you - people who may never have met you, but feel they know enough about you to like you enough to want to reach out.
My best wishes for the future.
September 24th, 2008 at 5:38 am
Hi Andy,
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I’m not entirely sure what to add to that except to say, I love your work and if life has taught me anything it’s that good people who do good work are often inspired by good mothers.
From Australia, all the best mate,
Ben Gray.
September 24th, 2008 at 5:59 am
Hi Andy,
Sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. We’re coming up to the anniversary of my Mom passing away last year. Remember all the good times, all our thoughts are with you.
Steve.
September 24th, 2008 at 7:04 am
Sorry to hear about your loss. What more can anyone say? At the end its a really personal experience.
September 24th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Andy, I am soooo sorry about your mom. I didn’t know. Been outta touch for the last couple weeks, so hadn’t read this til now. You are a lucky man, to have had such a mom. And, she was so lucky to have a good son, so to speak. You did what most people wouldn’t have.
It’s a difficult, life changing time. My wife & I send our heartfelt sympathies….
T
September 24th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Andy;
As a grown man, tears are reserved for three things; babies being born, kids reaching miles stones, and losing our mothers. Take care.
September 24th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Andy,
My love for you, though I do not know you personally, is a selfish one. You always make me laugh and give me something to think about. Whether it is through your writings, your podcasts, the ceremony that you presided over for Shawn & Lesa King, you are someone that makes others gravitate to them.
I can see that so much of what you are, that make up these special qualities, comes from your mother!
To you and your family, my best regards.
Be well Andy!
September 24th, 2008 at 8:23 am
Thank you Andy,
Your thoughts have brought comfort to this person who has gone through the same thing with my mother, and now reliving it with my father. I wish I could have met your mom in person, but through your writing I we feel we know her - if only a little bit. I am sure her compassion and thoughtfulness lives on in what you write. Mom is our first teacher, and she taught you well.
Love and prayers to you and your family.
September 24th, 2008 at 8:50 am
My deepest condolences for your loss. Its amazing how the internet can make a person feel a part of your life. I look forward to hearing you every week and I just wanted to take this opportunity to be able to extend my most sincere sympathies.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Many, many apologies for your loss.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Andy,
Been a big fan for a long time…Just heard about your mom on MacBreak. You did make mention of your mom quite a lot on the show, so I was stunned to learn of her passing….I think all MacBreak listeners suffered a loss with you, too. My sympathy and best wishes to you. Keep up the good work on the show, I maintain that you’re consistently the funniest panelist. :)
All the best,
Mark
September 24th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Condolences to you, Andy. Thank you for sharing this.
September 24th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
I just want to say that I am so sorry for your and your families loss. I got tearful when reading your post and I’m serious. I hope you are ok.
Adam
September 24th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Andy
I just heard the sad news on MBW and read this post …
What a beautiful eulogy to a beautiful person. My partner lost her mother a few years ago, and because she living in another country, she regrets not spending more time with her. Luckily she was able to spend the last few weeks with her.
Her birthday is a very special time in our family calendar - as I’m sure, your Mom’s will be celebrated.
My utmost condolences. Your mom will always be with you, Andy.
Aaron
PS. What is about us boys lending our mother a hat for the sun?
September 24th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
I’m a listener of MacBreak Weekly, just heard you speaking of your Mom on the podcast and wanted to send you and your family my deepest condolences. The picture you posted is great and shows loads of character and warmth…and a fighting spirit. I know you’ll miss her, but know that as long as she is in your heart and your thoughts, she’ll always be with you.
September 24th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Andy, I just listened to MBW. I wanted to pass along my condolences on your mom’s passing.
September 24th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Andy, I listen to all the TWIT podcasts and have enjoyed your sense of humor and insights over the last 2 years, for that thank you. I’m very sorry about your loss. I lost my Mom in 2001 and I know what you are going thru. I hope that you find the peace that you need to face your loss. From what I read, I suspect that this is the way she would want you to act.
Take care,
Joe Manich
Pittsburgh, PA
September 24th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Thanks for sharing your mom’s story and that photo - she smiles just like my mom does! Beautiful! To steal a great line from a silly movie - your mom seems like “a first class lady!” (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0356910/quotes). I’m going to listen to the rest of MBW 107 while I ride the Yamanote line to work at Tokyo Station, but I’m also going to email my mom (in St. Louis) that I love her.
September 24th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
I need to hug my mum. My condolences to you and your family.
September 24th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Andy,
There aren’t words. Really. I lost my father five years ago and it’s like yesterday and it feels like forever since he was here. Condolences to you and your family.
I love your participation on Macbreak. I”m listening to this week’s podcast as I type this. I’ve never been here before but I thought it was important to stop in and add one more voice of support for you in a difficult time.
Take care, be good and thank you for all you do.
September 24th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Andy,
I just heard about your loss on MacBreak Weekly. My sincerest condolences to you and your family for your loss.
I really enjoy hearing you on the various TWIT podcasts and hope to continue to listen to you for a long time to come.
Take care and god bless.
Aloha,
Jarrett
September 24th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, Andy. What a beautiful, heartfelt tribute.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Sorry for your loss, Andy.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
My condolences and God bless you and your family.
September 25th, 2008 at 1:16 am
My heart felt condolences. You are an awesome guy and bring laughter into my laugh and I am sure I can thank your mother for that. Keep doing what you do, she would be very proud.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:21 am
Dear Andy,
I lost my mother early this month also, after going through much of the same process that you did, watching her slowly but steadily fade away. It was so difficult.
The last few months she was also in hospice, having moved there when I could no longer take care of her on my own. I did so for over three years, moving into her house, putting much of my life on hold. Much like you did.
Our mothers lived good lives, and raised excellent sons and daughters. My mom was happy with the way things turned out at the end, because she was happy with the life that she had lived. I think yours was too.
And both of our moms left too soon.
Best wishes and my deepest sympathies over your loss.
- Edward
September 25th, 2008 at 3:02 am
My heartfelt condolences - David
September 25th, 2008 at 3:14 am
I’m so very sorry to hear of your mom’s passing, she was obviously a wonderful mother…they’re amazing, aren’t they. I nearly lost my father to esophageal cancer last year and he’s still not quite out of the woods yet, he’s just 3 years younger than your mom. My hat’s off and I’m standing on my chair applauding you for being her precious caregiver until she left this life.
I add my deepest sympathies along with all the others and have to say that you’re an inspiration to in many ways.
Love reading your columns, keep it coming with that unique perspective and insight.
Best wishes,
Brent
September 25th, 2008 at 4:35 am
Beautiful photo and a beautiful eulogy Andy.
Deepest sympathy for your loss.
September 25th, 2008 at 8:54 am
My deepest condolences to you and your family Andy. That was a wonderful tribute to your mother. Makes me wish I had known her.
Be well,
Gene
September 25th, 2008 at 11:28 am
I offer my deepest condolences to you and your family Andy. Your blog post was beautiful and I hope the outpouring of comments will let you know that people do care.
Best wishes,
Jared
September 25th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Andy,
My deepest condolences on your loss. May you find peace.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Andy,
My deepest sympathy for your loss.
Your mother must have been extremely proud of you and I’m sure she’s watching over you.
Kind Regards,
William
September 25th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Andy,
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. God bless you and your family.
I’m sure your Mom and looking down and smiling with pride for you.
You are such a pleasure to listen to with your never ending tech knowledge and dry delivery.
Best Regards,
Mike
September 25th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I just learned of your loss when listening to MacBreak Weekly. My thoughts and prayers are with you. And God bless you for taking care of her during her illness. You are a class act. She obviously raised you well!
Thanks so much for your invaluable contributions to the podcast community.
All the best,
Eric
September 25th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Perspective can really become clear in times like these, it was one year ago mid September my mom was also diagnosed with lung cancer which took her in two months so she was gone by November 20. So I do have some idea but like you I loved my mom dearly and had a great relationship and she had a hard but good life so you have a soul brother out here and I hope only the best for you.
Ron E.
my moms pic with me at wikipedia ronemmerson
September 25th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Andy,
Thanks SO much for sharing the picture and the story. As a dear friend who is also a radiologist told me during my father’s passing… “Look for the beauty in the whole process” Boy was he right, I hate to quote Kibran but he was on the money when he said “with out love you will laugh but mot all your laughter and cry but not all your tears” (I paraphrase) Anyway, thanks again for the image and you weekly insights and laughs on Macbreak…. Love until it hurts!
Keith Kefford
September 26th, 2008 at 12:19 am
Andy,
Sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you. Thanks for all the laughter you have brought in my life, your mother was an amazing woman to raise a man like you
Tristan
Rockford,IL
September 26th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Dear Andy,
I’m not one to make contact with someone I don’t know, but really wanted to send you my best wishes.
I listened to MBW today and heard your sad news. My thoughts are with you, and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with your readers. I lost my Mum on September 1st and am only just starting to come to terms with it. the last few weeks have been very surreal, flecked with moments of serenity and beauty amongst the sadness. Know that there are people all around the world sending their thoughts your way, going through it too, finding comfort in your words.
All the best
Paul
September 26th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Hello Andy
I’ve been a fan for a long time. I always enjoy your writing style and listening to you on TWiT .
My mom passed September 11, within a day or so of yours, from cancer as well. I read your eulogy and the tears started welling up. It is similar to what I wish I could have written for my mom’s funeral, but it would not have been as eloquent.
I, like everyone else here, am very sorry for your loss.
My deepest condolences
Norris
September 26th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Andy,
I just tuned into Macbreak Weekly last night and heard the news. I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure that you will cherish the last year more than any other. My wife and I will keep you and your family in our prayers.
Blessings,
Paul L
September 26th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Andy:
You have been like a weekly friend via podcasts for a very long time. I thank you many times over for the laughs and insight. I am stating this far too briefly, truly.
Many have already related your recent experience to their own, and indeed my mom passed away a year and a half ago. That given, much of what you have said in such a lovely way about your mother I appreciate at both face value and because of the personal chords you touch as well. Although part of our reactions just ‘happen’ - we will mourn, etc - we have a responsibility to celebrate even in the face of that. And for what that means not only to this moment in your life but for ‘the place it puts me in’ as well - thanks, Andy.
-Doug
September 26th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I just heard it on twit. my deepest condolences!
I am very sorry for your loss!
teymur.
September 26th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I’m sorry for your lost Andy, my condolences.
September 26th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Andy, I’m so sorry to have heard the news on MBW.
Like many others here I lost my mother last year from cancer as well. I think people like your mother, and mine, great people who showed great strength, leave an inspiring part of themselves with those they leave behind, and as time goes on a lot of clarity has developed in the light of the horrendously painful year that lead up to my own mother’s death.
What I’m trying to say is that no matter how dark things are now or have been, things get brighter, life is illuminated in many different ways by the wonderful, loving glow our mothers leave behind as they move on.
September 26th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Andy, I am so sorry to hear. I have gotten to know you through your various podcasts, mostly through TWIT and Macbreak Weekly. You are such a quick wit and have always had a great outlook on life. As time passes all wounds heal. Although you never spoke of her, that photo makes me feel like I knew her. You are a great talent and I am sure that your mother was proud of you and all you have done. I will always look forward to what you add to a podcast and will hold an even fonder memory of your podcasts from “Mom’s Fabulous Hotel and Casino” in downtown Boston. That always made me laugh and now will be bittersweet. Thanks.
September 26th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Hey-I just heard your most recent MacBreak. I am so sorry for your loss, but maybe, you feel a bit like I did when my grandmother passed after her lung cancer battle….a relief from her suffering, a cumulative sigh, knowing she was gone, but that her pain had ended, and me being thankful for lots of love given to me from her, and lots of great memories.
September 27th, 2008 at 4:38 am
Dear Andy,
I am very sorry to here your mother passed away. My deepest sorrow.
Ezra
September 27th, 2008 at 6:55 am
Andy,
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Mom. When I heard you discuss her death on “MacBreak Weekly”, I was bowled over.
I lost my Dad September 13th after a stunning diagnosis of liver cancer. It was already stage 4 when it was discovered. A month ago he was still mowing his own lawn! From diagnosis to gone in less than 3 weeks.
My Dad and I had grown closer since my Mom passed in 2004. My mother, like yours, died of lung cancer.
The positive piece (and maybe the only one!) is that you had time to say what needed to be said to your Mom, over the past year. I was able to spend some time with my Dad before his death this month. Lots of hugs and hand holding.
As for hospice, they are angels on earth. I can’t begin to describe what kind of comfort and care they bring. Amazing for both the dying and the family who love them.
All my best wishes to you. My condolences to everyone here who has shared about the loss of someone they love.
September 27th, 2008 at 10:50 am
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. May the fond memories you have of her help you through this difficult time.
Ron
September 28th, 2008 at 4:46 am
All the best to you and your family. I love your talks with Leo and Co. and your mom seems to be an awesome lady.
JA
September 28th, 2008 at 11:00 am
Andy,
I just heard of your mom’s passing on MBW and wanted to share my condolences. It seems like you had a very special relationship with your mom and that is something you can cherish forever. You were very lucky to have each other.
I really appreciated you sharing something so personal about yourself and your home life on the MBW podcast and it got me thinking about just how personal podcasting can be. I feel like I actually know you, and even though I don’t personally, it still feels like it. If we were personal friends, you’d be getting a big hug just about now.
Much sadness for your loss.
Take care.
Antonio
September 28th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Hello Andy,
I just heard you speaking of this on MBW and wanted to give my condolences. I’d like to wish you and your family the best for the future and remember to cherish your memories.
Amazing photograph as well.
Paul
September 29th, 2008 at 12:50 am
I am very sorry for your loss. It sounds like your Mum was a very special person. It sounds very cliche, but imagine what the world would be like if every child had a mum like yours.
Craig.
September 29th, 2008 at 7:05 am
Andy,
I am so sorry for your loss.
I, like many other people commenting on this post, can honestly say that I know what you are currently going through.
My mother died of bowel cancer nearly five years ago after fighting the disease for three years.
When a loved-one is diagnosed with a terminal illness and battles that illness for an extended period we think that we prepared for the moment when they die and that we have done most of our grieving in advance. That is not always the case. Some part of our psyche denies the impending reality and only grieves when when the death occurs.
My mother’s death was the most traumatic thing that has occurred in my life but on reflection it is the event that has has the most positive impact on me. While I did not realise it during her illness, my mother was giving me one final lesson about life; how to deal with death and cope with loss of a loved one.
We all handle grief in our own way and take our own time to get over things. Give yourself the time you need to let yourself grieve in whatever way works for you.
Steve.
PS: I would not be surprised if my mum and your mum have not already met in heaven and right now are swapping stories about their families.
September 29th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I dread the day I lose either of my parents. I’ve lost both my grandparents and that was hard enough. I can only imagine what you’ve been through. My most heart-felt condolences to you. When anyone close to me passes, I can find strength in knowing I’ll see them again some day.
Peace.
Jersey Chris
September 29th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. My thoughts go out to you and your family Andy.
September 29th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Andy, i feel your pain, my mom passed away 4 years ago and she was my inspiration for everything, and i dont think there might be anything more hurtful than that.
Didnt get to know your Mom but you are a great person and if you refelect anything of what she is she must be incredible. Remember and talk about your Mom always.
September 30th, 2008 at 4:39 am
Andy,
Hope your grieving goes easily.
Keep your spirits up.
I’m sure you kept her smiling, just like you keep me smiling.
September 30th, 2008 at 11:12 am
The biggest regret in my 46 years relates to the death of my father 4 years ago.
I was away from home and his funeral was just a blur when I returned.
I wished I had my thoughts together and wrote a nice eulogy like you had composed. I had to cringe as the bishop delivered a error filled diatribe. I was horrified. It will never happen again but such regrets…
Our thoughts are with you Andy. Such a sad loss for you.
September 30th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Andy:
You honor your mom through both your eulogy and your weblog entry. My prayers are with you and your family right now. But your mom gave us the give of — “you” and Andy has made our tech world a kinder gentler and funnier place.
Hang in there!
BEN
September 30th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Andy, this was a beautiful post and a grand tribute to your mother. She had to be very proud of you. If I had a son, I would have been pleased and honored to have him turn out as well as you have.
I am sorry for your loss but proud of you for your mother and for the rest of the human race.
April
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:38 am
Hey Andy,
Mate, that was such a moving eulogy; perhaps the most moving that i have ever heard. I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad that you have found happiness in light of the events and your attitude towards your mother’s passing has been outstanding; certainly better than I can imagine myself being in your situation.
I am sure that your mother would be very proud to have a son such as yourself who, i am sure, shared her sense of humor with yourself.
Once again, I am glad that you have found comfort in the passing of your mother.
looking forward to hearing you soon on MBW,
kentor
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Hi Andy, I saw this just before I listened to MBW (I’m a little behind) where you talked about this photo. We don’t know each other personally nor have we met, but the photo & eulogy seemed to be such a fitting tribute. This picture is worth countless words. Even if you were Joe Nobody & I came across this posting, I would still feel the same way: This is MOM, no doubt about it. There are snapshots (drunk college students goofing off), photos with captions (news, feature, bios, etc), & the cover of [insert favorite mag] (Time or National Geographic come to my mind) that needs no explanation, heading, or caption.
Just an image. No introductions or descriptions.
No, forget that, not just an image, but a frozen moment in time where anyone can feel like the one standing there, looking at this scene. As if that was THEIR mother posing on that beach.
That’s how I felt seeing this for the first time, without listening to MBW or reading the rest of the story.
If only I ever have the chance to do the same for my Mom.
Take care.
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:44 pm
My condolences to you and your family. You choose a beautiful picture, and thank you for what you wrote it is helping me with my Mom illness now.
October 6th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Sorry to hear about your mother’s passing, Andy. That was a beautiful eulogy an photograph.
October 11th, 2008 at 2:06 am
. .lost my wife to breast cancer two years ago on 9.16.06 . .it’ll take some time to get over it but you will remember her at her best : the smiles and everything . .because that’s what most of the time with her was like anyway . crying helps • alo’ha from pahoa HI =)
October 11th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Beautiful. I am glad you were able to spend so much tie with your mother in her last year. My mother died one year and 3 days ago. Very, very suddenly, and unexpectedly. Los is loss and I share your grief.
God bless.
October 13th, 2008 at 8:53 am
Hi Andy,
I was away on vacation for a few weeks, and while catching up on the podcast, I heard the news. I am very sorry to hear. I lost my mother two years ago, and it was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. Time heals the wounds, but never lets me forget. Always remember her love. She is never gone from your heart.
-Steve
October 26th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Andy-
I have just now read your posting, although I’ve known since I listened on MacBreak Weekly a little while ago, but after reading I felt compelled to say that I grieve for your and your family’s loss. Your mother sounds like the wonderful person all mothers should be.
Thanks for sharing this with everyone, and my sincerest condolences.
February 14th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
Andy-
I read your posting soon after your mom’s death. It reminded me much of my dad who died on Good Friday going on 3 years ago. You words captured perfectly the experience. I TRULY don’t mean to preach, but I have listened to you enough on your podcasts to get a fairly good idea of your religious views. Please don’t close your mind our soul to God. I am a Christian and I don’t understand all of the movings of God. But I know with every fiber of my being that there is a God and he has a Plan for all of us and this world will be filled with tribulations, but if we Seek him with all our heart, we will find him, in spite of what seems to be incomprehensible pain and not understanding God. Please, Andy, don’t close yourself from Him. Continue to seek him. I hope your time with your Dad is good.
Your mom will always be with you and so will God. Continue to seek Him.