National Terrible Unfinished Novel-Writing Month, Day 25

The gun arrived a week ago on Saturday. And it really worked exactly as I hoped it would. No kiddin’. I don’t know why all those losers are messing around with these weekend writers’ workshops and immersive research jaunts to Djakarta to spend a year working as a dance instructor. Michael Moore was full of…

National Terrible Unfinished Novel-Writing Month: Day 16

Damn. My new gun can’t arrive soon enough. “Did I just hear you say ‘Damn! My new gun can’t arrive soon enough!’?” Oops. I was like 99% sure that I’d only thought that. “Sorry, officer,” I said, and then I handed over my license and registration as he’d asked. My apology was quite sincere. Plus,…

National Terrible Unfinished Novel-Writing Month: Day 14

Still working the “Acting like an Author is probably more important than actually writing” angle. Did such a poor job of assembling an Author-ey wardrobe that I decided to start small and focus on dramatic accessories. Admit it: you can’t get any smaller or more dramatic than a handgun, can you? And the gun can…

National Terrible Unfinished Novel-Writing Month: Day 10

I had Richard Dawkins over at the house today…he needed to use my office photocopier to copy some tax papers. He got to witness my Process firsthand over the course of a whole hour, as I labored on my NaTeUnNoWiMo novel. I wasn’t having a very good day. There I was, staring at the screen,…

National Terrible Unfinished Novel-Writing Month: Day 9

Annnnnnnd today I wrote a chapter in which the waitress discovers the barista’s LiveJournal blog. She, um, posts a reply in which she rebuts her account of their date. Yeah, I know. I have just gone and updated the Wikipedia entry for “rut.” It now says “See Andy Ihnatko’s National Terrible Unfinished Novel-Writing Month novel.”…

National Terrible Unfinished Novel-Writing Month: Day 7

Am officially over my writer’s block. “Forget structure,” I commanded myself, remembering a tip from the National Novel-Writing Month‘s official site. “Just clear your mind and write whatever you see.” So I breathed in, I slowly exhaled, and then I wrote a whole chapter in which the waitress from the independent coffeehouse makes out with…