OscarBlog 2009 – Stave 5

The Judd Apatow short film: Seth Rogan and his Pineapple Express couch-buddy watching pirated movies. Very rare to find a comedy piece on the Oscars that’s actually funny!

Funny bit with Janish Kaminsky “Saving Private Ryan” cinematographer. I do think that’s the last time Seth Rogan will ever hold an Oscar. Maybe.

Is this a good path for future Oscarcasts? They don’t have to pay top-name musicians to play the Super Bowl because it’s such a great opportunity to perform for an enormous international audience. Wouldn’t top-drawer writers, directors, and actors be just as eager for an opportunity to put together a 3-minute film that EVERYBODY will watch? If they put out the word that the producers are open to proposals — no film school students or YouTube “Ow, My Balls!’ videographers may apply — wouldn’t they get a half dozen fantastic pieces like that Apatow short film?

Best Live-Action Short. Winner is not wearing a tuxedo. Black shirts are best worn by Johnny Cash or your priest.

Commercial.

Oooh…Wolverine is wearing his “The Prestige” costume (white tie). Wonder if this is the real Hugh Jackman, or the latest in hundreds of clones drowned in tanks just below the stage of the Kodak Theater?

Hugh (as noted earlier) is a great song and dance man. But I wonder why they’re spending all this time on a “has nothing to do with tonight’s nominees” musical number…and at the same time, they’re collapsing all of the “Best Original Song” nominees into a single chopped-down medley?

I’ve no idea why they do that at all. Best Song is a godsend for the show. Many of these songs were written or performed by some of the hottest acts in the world. Even when it’s some coffeehouse performer who got lucky, I refer you back to that “one of TV’s largest international audiences” comment. What top-name wouldn’t agree to come on to sing one of these songs?

And it’s good entertainment. So why throw away this kind of asset?

I turn my attention back to the show. At this moment, everybody over the age of 25 with no kids is looking at the kids from “High School Musical” (I’m guessing) and saying “Who the **** are these people?”

I do think this “Top Hat” medley is too much of a throwback to the lame Oscarcasts of the Seventies. Still, it’s nice to see a stage full of Boy Dancers once again. You know, the performers who make an excellent living flitting around behind Lola Falana at a variety of minor casino showrooms across the country.

Beyonce Knowles — dammit, the girl can sing.

Good Lord, that number was directed by Baz Lurmann. They were smart to not reveal this until the end. Otherwise, I would have been motivated to dive in through the screen, seek him out, and throttle him for his crimes against good taste and a world without glue-on diamelles.

Moths are idiots. Come on, we’ve all thought it. I’m just the first person to say it. Life is an endless series of terrifying confusions for these creatures, who surely count among God’s most egregious mistakes (though not a greater one than crescent-shaped ice cubes which cling to the curve of the glass and prevent you from drinking your beverage).

The only humane thing to do is kill them. And the Revenge Moth Trap is just the way to do it. If you haven’t got the guts to put them out of their misery, click the link anyway and buy something. Something you were going to buy anyway. I’ll get a little Amazon Associates kickback from whatever you purchase and I promise to use those credits to buy something fun and foolish.

4 thoughts on “OscarBlog 2009 – Stave 5”

  1. Re-posting from my comment on your previous entry – I’ll take more commercials over more of Hugh Jackman singing and dancing.
    In fact, I’ll take less of both and turn it off altogether. I can get the results from the web later without all the fluff and filler.

  2. Ahem. Beyonce wasn’t actually singing. Not live, anyway. No, she was lip syncing, while Hugh actually belted out his lyrics live. Actor vs. Movie Star.

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