Best Screenplay. Yes, live presentation of printed text is always as exciting as the actual scene. No, no, no. Read the nominees and show the faces of the writers in the audience; for four of them, this is the big prize and (again) it’ll make their family incredibly happy. Then read the name of the winner. Then move on!
I think I’m going to put that phrase in a keyboard macro to save time.
Though if this blog will truly be plugged into the Oscarcast zeitgeist, saving time will be the last thing on my mind.
Best Screenplay to “Milk.” Good, good. This wasn’t an easy screenplay to write; it was filled with simple solutions to very complicated storytelling problems.
I was wondering if Andrew Stanton’s “Wall*E” screenplay had a chance. Every moment of it had to be written…but so little of it was actual human dialogue, you know?
Shout out for equal gay rights. Cool.
More blatherol to introduce the category. Nobody listens, nobody cares, it’s thirty seconds that can be easily dropped.
“DON’T fall in love with me!” says Steve to his co-presenter. Great line.
Again, reading a screenplay full of direction aloud is as exciting as watching people type. Why is it that the telecast always overlooks the most obvious opportunities to tighten things up? And again, I keep thinking about how thrilled my parents would be to just see me on TV, with my name being read aloud as a nominee. But no, instead they’re showing typewritten pages.
So yes, it’s true: if you’re a writer, you’re at the absolute bottom of the Hollywood power list. They don’t even think you’re pretty enough to be shown on TV!
“Slumdog” wins. I wasn’t consulted, but I nonetheless approve.
Oscars are showing writers one bit of props: they’re putting them on first. Which might seem like a dis, keeping them away from the big categories. But they’re being presented before the director realizes just how ****ed they are for time, and start cutting people off after their first five seconds of the acceptance speech.
More banter between presenters. Jack Black and Jennifer Anniston…good for Katzenberg for laughing at the “I bet everything on Pixar every year” line. He’s either a good sport, or is smart enough to know that a camera is near and he has to look like a good sport.
Yes! Special Wall E OSCAR clip! Always interesting to see how they recucle footage from the anmated cilms…since it’s utterly impossible to render out new footage for the show. If you want Shrek to give out an award, he’s going to look like he stepped from a Playstation game.
But of course, they could have “built” a Wall*E for the show, and R/C him out across the stage, couldn’t they?
Okay, it’s got to be WALL*E. He got it in the neck at the Annie awards, but only because Dreamworks bought voting memberships in the organization for all of its employees.
Yes! It’s Wall*E.
Interesting! Loud cheer from Jack Black…star of “Kung Fu Panda.”
Shout out for Steve Jobs. No “Get well soon, Spunky! You’re in our prayers!” which has to be a good sign. I think.
Animated Short Film. Let’s see if as usual, they play on the winner with Looney Tunes music. I mean, some of these shorts are actually addressing serious subjects, you know?
Should be a Pixar win, methinks…
No, it’s a Frenchy thing. How embarrassing! The American animator who won it chose the wrong fake accent to accept the award in! He’s supposed to pretending to be French, not Japanese!
Was that the first time a Styx lyric was quoted in an Oscar acceptance speech?
If you’ve been enjoying this, why not purchase a six-pack of Fatal Funnel Bee And Wasp Traps from Amazon? You’ll probably be attacked by bees if you don’t. If you escape, it’ll get your kids; they’re slower, after all.
Even if you don’t like your kids very much, click the link and then buy whatever-it-is that you were meaning to buy anyway. I’ll get a small kickback via Amazon Associates. And I’ll be a little bit closer to buying myself something interesting but fiscally irresponsible, with the credits.