Stop it stopit STOPITT!!!!

Annoying commercials are like…concussions, I guess. The danger lies in repetition. Once? Twice? You can pretty much get away with it. But your tenth or eleventh will leave you in a frightful mental state.

I have been repeatedly concussed by this Verizon FiOS commercial. Watch it. Let’s see if you spot the same annoying problem that I do:

Okey-doke. The Dad is impressed by the digital HD picture and sound and he says “Wow!” Then the Mom. Then the kid.

Then the dog! Pause for atomic laffs and yucks.

At this point, there have already been four “Wow!”s. And the joke’s over because hey, it’s so impressive that even a housepet is floored by the idea of “I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry” presented in 720i HD and has been moved to respond as a human being would.

And then the cat says “Wow!” Five!

Then a flea on the cat!

SIX!

I think you’ll agree that this is a lot of “Wow!”s.

And y’know, the joke was finished two whole “Wow!”s ago, as soon as the first non-human creature said it. It could have been economized to just three. Husband, wife, cat. Or: parent, child, cat.

(The media is so saturated with talking dogs that a talking cat is automatically funnier.)

(Actually, I’d give the animal’s “Wow!” to a squirrel or a raccoon whose face is pressed up against the window.)

(No! The FiOS experience is so wonderful that a dozen backyard creatures have gathered there on the sill. Squirrels, mice, woodchucks…and they all say “Wow!” together, in high-pitched voices.)

But that’s not the point. The point is that this commercial can air six times an hour or more.

I have FiOS service (cable, internet, and a landline which I only have because it’s part of the package). By the fifth airing, I’m about ready to turn off the cable box and read a book.

Yes…it’s that annoying. I swear!

9 thoughts on “Stop it stopit STOPITT!!!!”

  1. I have to say, having gone from heavily compressed Comcast HD to OTA HD (I moved out), the difference is astounding. I’ve read the FiOS has little to no compression so I conclude that there’s probably a significant wow.

    That said, if you can afford FiOS you can likely afford some Frontline for the cat.

    PS 720i not so much, 720p or 1080i :)

    Andy, have you played Spore yet?

  2. I found two problems. Your annoyance, and the fact that the cat would a) actually be paying attention to anything else the family did and b) deign to give his opinion.

  3. The best part of watching the FIOS ads is the knowledge that there’s no way that I can get that service.
    They advertise on the west coast, but AFAIK, VZN has not rolled out FIOS anywhere but the Northeast.

  4. Welllll, it would have been far more effective if the cat had said “…Mmmmeh…”. Because that’s what cats do. And the ad had said, “Well folks, four out of five is BIG!”.

  5. My subconcious insists on substituting Keanu Reeves’ for whoever’s saying
    “Wow” with such slack-jawed abandon.

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