…THIS is what’s possible. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the most utterly awesome home Christmas decorations ever:
That sound you’re hearing is hundreds of thousands of people popping their enormous lawn snowglobes, and heavy-duty relays clacking off as thousands more realize that a lighting display shouldn’t turn into a ****-waving contest.
Wouldn’t you love to live next door to these people? Just in general, I mean.
If this family isn’t receiving federal grant money, then I must finally announce that our proud Republic’s grand experiment is a total failure, and we should invite the British to install a colonial governor or something.