National Terrible Unfinished Novel-Writing Month: Day 10

I had Richard Dawkins over at the house today…he needed to use my office photocopier to copy some tax papers. He got to witness my Process firsthand over the course of a whole hour, as I labored on my NaTeUnNoWiMo novel.

I wasn’t having a very good day. There I was, staring at the screen, typing and then deleting paragraph after paragraph. It was 200 words forward, 200 words back, over and over and over again.

“Writer’s block, eh?” Richard noted, not without sympathy.

I didn’t even take my eyes off of the screen. “Writer’s block is a delusion,” I replied. “People believe it exists only because they want it to exist. It relieves them of the responsibility of dealing with their problems head-on, in a rational and self-determining fashion.”

At this point I shook my head and silently tapped Command-A and Command-X for the nth time that morning.

“…Which is really just cheating yourself out of a wonderful experience,” I continued. “It’s so much more satisfying to be able to say ‘I was confronted by a complex, baffling, and real problem…and although at times it sure seemed as though finding a solution was way beyond my limited powers, I ultimately dug deep, broke the problem down, and triumphed’.”

Dawkins froze and blinked once or twice.

“That’s good stuff,” he finally said. “Can I use it?”

I shrugged and nodded.

Then it occurred to me that he was taking an awful long time just to copy a bunch of forms. I walked over to the other side of the office and discovered that he was photocopying the entire galley edition of my new iPhone book.

Cripes…it’s bad enough that he’s not buying his own copy. He also has to use my toner and my paper? I guess life is pretty damned sweet after you’ve declared that “Thou Shalt Not Steal” doesn’t apply to you.

He’s a nice guy and everything. Just don’t loan him your spare iPod charger, that’s all I’m saying.

Day 10. Words written: 0.

5 thoughts on “National Terrible Unfinished Novel-Writing Month: Day 10

  1. ClintMacD

    Richard Dawkins? Really?

    Was this the brilliant Richard Dawkins who wrote the insightful and paradigm-changing book on evolution and genome biology, The Selfish Gene, or was this the strident and sometimes awkward Richard Dawkins who goes on at great length about how atheism is the only true “ism”?

    Just wondering. :-)

    Best wishes,

  2. Ihnatko Post author

    You send the invite to “Richard Dawkins” but man, you don’t know which one’s going to show up to the party. Suffice to say that I’m not letting him anywhere near a church wedding ever again. Right in the middle of the service he made a big show of washing his feet in the baptismal font. That was completely unnecessary.

  3. Ihnatko Post author

    Man, if Douglas Adams shows up anywhere, the first thing he’d say was “Boy, was I wrong!”

    (But it’d be great to have him back.)

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